Excited and scared shitless

Im really bad at this blogging thing. You see, there is always so many things happening, and I think about how I want to blog about them, but then I might not have the time or energy that day. And then the next day something happens and everything gets repeated. Until I sit here with tons of things I would want to blog about but jesus christ, Ive probably forgotten half and Im too lazy to write about all the rest.

quick recap:
Ive gotten highlights, The summer is really here and Im daring to walk around in hotpants. We have had visitors that came, partied and left. Ive gained new friends that I adore. There has been VIP parties that turned out to be a blast and nights out where we wondered where everyone went. There has been friends to find out they might not be your friend after all. Ive been “swimming” for the first time this summer and there has been sand, everywhere. Ive done things I regret, but at the same time it makes me smile. There has been several fights and many losses. There has been times where all you do is laugh and you think that this is the time that you will look back at and miss, and that you should really enjoy it while it is here. And there has been times when you sit and stare at the wall and wondering what the hell the point is. And I got my lips done.

I think I got most of it in there, atleast the past week. Im not realy sure where is going to go from here. One minute that freaks me out and one minute I just feel like, whatever. I scare myself many times. But thats a whole other story.

Next week there is the Arvika festival. Wich is a big festival and it used to be my favorite thing in the whole world. last time I was there I was the first one in, and last one out. And Im really not overexaddurating now. They had to throw us out. I didnt go last year and now it scares the shit out of me. I feel too old, I feel too comfortable. I used to love waking up in a tent only to throw yourself out because of the heat, eating food that is too dirty and sitting in sunchairs with your friends until you found something else to do. Thinking about it makes me miss it badly, but it still scares me. This year I dont have anyone in particular to go with. Im going because I got tickets from work. And somehow I feel like I have to go, I dont feel like this comfortable person I turned into is really me. I need to come back to the way I was, where its alright if its not perfect or perfectly planned out. It might be wierd, but I need to do this.
What freaks me out the most is the fact that I have no one to rely on, no one to go there with or to count on. Its just me. I dont like it when its just me, at all.

I dont know how I will get there, or even if Im able to. I really do hope i get my money tomorrow othervise this will not be able to happen. And I need to pack. Maybe it wont be so bad after all. Ive got a few days. maybe 1 or 2, I can make this work out in that time. Im sure.

Ill end my rambling now, I feel like I could go on forever. And I will just show you some pictures

I think that is about enough for now. I have tons on my phone, but Ill show you those some other time.
Thanks for reading. <3